When Children Say They Don’t Want to Visit
It’s not uncommon for parents to hear their child say, “I don’t want to go.” Whether it’s due to normal family tension, the challenges of adjusting to divorce, or a genuine fear of the other parent’s home environment, these words can create confusion and stress. Parents naturally wonder: can a child refuse to visit the other parent in North Carolina? The answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. It depends on the child’s age, the custody order in place, and the circumstances surrounding the refusal.
The Role of Custody Orders in North Carolina
In North Carolina, custody is determined by a court order or agreement, and both parents are expected to follow it. A parent cannot simply decide to stop visitation because a child resists. Failing to comply with a custody order could place a parent in violation of the law and subject them to serious consequences, including contempt of court. Even when a child expresses reluctance, the parent with primary custody is generally responsible for making every reasonable effort to ensure visitation takes place.
At What Age Can a Child Decide?
A common misconception is that once a child reaches a certain age—often thought to be 12, 13, or 14—they can decide where they want to live. While North Carolina courts do consider the wishes of older children, there is no legal age at which a child gains full decision-making power over custody or visitation. Instead, a judge may take the child’s preference into account when making decisions about custody arrangements. The weight given to a child’s opinion will depend on their maturity, reasoning, and whether the preference appears to be freely expressed and in the child’s best interests.
The “Best Interests of the Child” Standard
North Carolina family courts always return to one guiding principle: what is in the best interests of the child. This standard goes beyond what either parent wants and looks closely at the child’s overall wellbeing. A child’s refusal to visit a parent might be carefully examined by a judge, but the refusal alone will not automatically change custody. Courts look at the reasons behind the refusal, such as safety concerns, strained relationships, or influences from one parent, before making adjustments.
When Refusal Becomes a Legal Concern
If a child consistently refuses visitation, parents should tread carefully. A judge may question whether one parent is encouraging or allowing the refusal, which could negatively impact that parent’s custody rights. On the other hand, if a child’s refusal stems from genuine safety or wellbeing concerns, the court may need to reevaluate custody orders to ensure the child is protected. This is why it’s essential for parents to seek legal guidance rather than handling the matter informally.
Practical Steps for Parents Facing Refusal
If you find yourself in this situation, the first step is communication. Try to understand why your child is resistant to visiting the other parent. Sometimes the reason is simple, such as missing friends or school activities, and can be worked out with reassurance and consistency. Other times, the reason may signal a deeper issue that requires attention. Documenting concerns and seeking support through counseling can help both the child and the court better understand what is happening. Most importantly, consult with a family law attorney before making any decisions that could conflict with your custody order.
Why Legal Guidance Matters
Custody disputes are emotionally charged, and the stakes are high. If your child refuses to visit the other parent, it’s crucial to approach the situation with both compassion and an understanding of the law. At Lincolnton Family Law, we know these moments are difficult. As both an attorney and a mother, Jennifer Hames understands the balance between protecting your child’s wellbeing and respecting the court’s authority. With the right legal support, you can address your child’s needs while protecting your parental rights.
Conclusion
In North Carolina, children cannot unilaterally decide whether to visit the other parent, no matter their age. While their wishes may be considered by the court, custody orders remain enforceable until legally modified. If your child is resisting visitation, the safest path forward is to seek legal advice and ensure any changes are handled through proper legal channels. That way, you protect both your child’s best interests and your rights as a parent.
Why Choose Lincolnton Family Law?
Why Choose Lincolnton Family Law?
When it comes to child custody matters, choosing the right attorney is essential. Jennifer Hames and the team at Lincolnton Family Law bring a compassionate, understanding approach combined with a wealth of experience in family law. As a trusted child custody attorney in Lincoln County, North Carolina, Jennifer is dedicated to protecting your parental rights while always keeping the best interests of your children at the forefront.
We know how overwhelming custody disputes can be. That’s why we focus on minimizing conflict and resolving issues efficiently to protect both your family and your future. We also recognize the emotional and financial stresses that come with legal proceedings, and we’re committed to making this process as smooth as possible for you and your children.
Our local presence in Lincolnton means we are accessible when you need us, providing timely and effective legal solutions with a personalized touch. Navigating the courts doesn’t have to be a journey you take alone, give us a call or fill out the form below today and let us stand by your side in protecting what matters most.